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LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:09 pm
by KibaWolf
BeingBorn:
I was in the wolf den.I looked around.My brothers and sisters squirmed around me.They seemed anxious to see my mother,Deneb,again,as she left to get food and energy for milk.I went outside to look for her.I nursed until she went back in,then i challenged her.She was rank one,and i got the rank.Soon after this i was weaned.I went outside,and came back later to find a bear feasting on all the corpses in my den.I was fiercely angry,and craving the bear's blood,but my father was dead and so was my mother and i couldn't be sure if the pack would come inside or not.I bolted outside to see it was summer,and new prey was out.I was startled,and i left to find the rest of my pack.
Venturingbeyondthelimits:
I left the forest to go to the lakeside.unfortunately,there were new elk calves,and,seeing as i had grown,i was chased away from the herd.I soon went to the desert.It was hot,and i nearly died of thirst.But i kept going.I ventured to the north east lake and i swam and swam.Since it was near the forests,I checked all dens.no real players and NO wolves to be found.I called my pack.No howling,no wolves coming.i quit that pack and joined a new one.An npc's one.I followed the pack and hunted elk.It was not safe,and bears nearly killed me.
The end with Friends:
I found real players,whom i will not mention the names of solely because i forgot.I had cubs with an npc.I went back to the hole.I took care of the pups with my friends,and some ended up healthy.I had 4.1,the cub named Blue who was female,died due to lack of cleanliness and much thirst.The other three survived and killed me when i was a goat.Later on,I died,and much suffering came after i had to leave the screen.

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:47 am
by hoopyscoop
Wow. Nice story!

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 8:33 am
by NatureHeart
It's kind of short and has little emotion. It was kind of boring to me. Sorry.

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:56 am
by Swifty
You should use spaces more.
and more feeling in the story

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2012 7:47 am
by KibaWolf
Swifty wrote:You should use spaces more.
and more feeling in the story
Yeah........Sorry.I couldnt add many quotes 'cuz ppl didnt say much...

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 4:55 pm
by Swifty
No no, not that. I mean prolong it. Add more detail. (Not just more words, but describing something better.

Like...
1] The wolf walked through the forest. It was creepy out here.

2] The wolf walked through the dense foliage of the foreat, oak trees lining the thin path he was following. Small rays of moonlight shone through the breaks in the clusters of leaves, giving the forest an eerie feel.))

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:21 am
by Foxesrule
Swifty wrote:No no, not that. I mean prolong it. Add more detail. (Not just more words, but describing something better.

Like...
1] The wolf walked through the forest. It was creepy out here.

2] The wolf walked through the dense foliage of the foreat, oak trees lining the thin path he was following. Small rays of moonlight shone through the breaks in the clusters of leaves, giving the forest an eerie feel.))
Spot the better example! xD

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:36 am
by Swifty
Foxesrule wrote:
Swifty wrote:No no, not that. I mean prolong it. Add more detail. (Not just more words, but describing something better.

Like...
1] The wolf walked through the forest. It was creepy out here.

2] The wolf walked through the dense foliage of the foreat, oak trees lining the thin path he was following. Small rays of moonlight shone through the breaks in the clusters of leaves, giving the forest an eerie feel.))
Spot the better example! xD

Haha cx

Re: LifeAsAWolf(True)

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:51 am
by KibaWolf
Swifty wrote:
Foxesrule wrote:
Swifty wrote:No no, not that. I mean prolong it. Add more detail. (Not just more words, but describing something better.

Like...
1] The wolf walked through the forest. It was creepy out here.

2] The wolf walked through the dense foliage of the foreat, oak trees lining the thin path he was following. Small rays of moonlight shone through the breaks in the clusters of leaves, giving the forest an eerie feel.))
Spot the better example! xD

Haha cx
lol