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One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 2:19 am
by Foxesrule
I've seen this on lots of other sites and they came up with really funny things... So I decided to make it on this...

1) Run around pretending to be a warrior cat and hiss and claw people if they get as close as 30ft and tell them to get out of your territory.

2) Dress up as Ash Ketchum(Pokemon) and go to the check out counter. When they ask to check out your items you say "I want to catch them all." If they know Pokemon, they'll laugh and ask to check out your items again.(Even if they don't know Pokemon say "I want to catch them all.") No matter what they do, continue saying "I want to catch them all." If they say they'll call the cops you say "Come on Pikachu." and walk out the door buying nothing.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 6:46 am
by NatureHeart
3. Run around the store knocking things off shelves.
4. Get a friend to push you around the store in a shopping cart while you scream "The Redcoats are coming!!!".
5. Stuff things down your pants and trying to walk out the door with them.
6. Eat all the cake at the bakery isle.
7. Play catch with oranges and grapefruits.
8. Yell at the manager.
9. Eat bananas and throw the peels at people.
10. Take food off the shelves and make your own free food sample stand.
11. Bring a dog in and let him run around peeing on everything.
12. Run around the store putting girly pink bras in strong men's shopping carts. (Make sure there are no girls with him)

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 10:23 am
by Kazz
13. Find ketchup, open it, and drip it in a path leading to the women's washroom.

14. Go up to someone and obnoxiously pretend to know them. Say things like, "Oh my Bob! I haven't seen you in so long!" See if they play along to avoid being embarrassed.

15. Put "Caution: Wet Floor" signs on carpeted areas.

16. Go into the dressing room, wait a little, then yell, "There's no toilet paper in here!"

17. -Deleted-

18. When announcements from Wal-Mart sound on the speakers, scream in agony, fall to the ground, and curl up in a ball crying, "It's those voices again! It's those voices again!" When the announcement ends, get up and continue on like nothing is wrong.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 10:30 am
by StarWolf
19. Run around wearing rediculously huge shoes while hitting people on the head with an oversized key screaming "Die heartless, die!"

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 3:20 pm
by Summerbreeze
( I have tried all of these at my neighborhood walmart... Most of them work. Sorry about the numbers they are all screwed up.)
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

35. -Deleted-

36. -Deleted-

37. -Deleted-

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head).

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. -Deleted-

52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. -Deleted-

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.

63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. If you’re female: Take some men’s clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. Act shocked and insist “But I AM a man” if the attendant says anything. If you’re a man, vice versa.

69. -Deleted-

70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!"

71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here.

72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.)

73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem.

74. -Deleted-

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV’s to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly.

77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.

78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying.

79. One word: STREAK!

80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a toaster.

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are.

84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities".

85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you’re walking through the doors act like you’re expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

89. -Deleted-

90. -Deleted-

91. -Deleted-

92. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.

94. -Deleted-

95. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and "buzzing".

96. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept.

97. Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn't

98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible.

99. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone.

100. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until somebody throws you out.

101. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash. Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins.

102. Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet Department. Pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks.

103. With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too. (Note - This really works)

104. Steal a Walmart shirt, and the possibilities are endless.BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 6:24 pm
by Kazz
I feel like you copy pasted a list from somewhere, Summer.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 6:28 pm
by StarWolf
I feel like I should have a list of things, not just one. ;3;


not gonna bother to count in Summer's cause that takes math which takes logic which I lack at this moment.

20. Put a black blindfold and run around hugging randomly screaming "Wheee I'm blind!"
21. Make inappropriate acronyms of the employees' names and scream them out loud.

List = 2.
Seems good enough.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 5:23 am
by Lysander

oh, and I also stole some onion rings.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 1:37 pm
by Alexander
You may now continue. Please read through your post before you post it in a family-friendly forum, or else you'll be warned. Thanks!

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 10:30 am
by Foxesrule
Dress up as nyan cat, with the nyan cat song playing full volume on your phone, with people dressed as the colours of the rainbow following you.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 11:54 am
by Lady
Do the opposite of the above: dress as Tac Nayn with people in waffle suits behind you with the Nyan cat song going backwards. |D

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Mon May 28, 2012 9:15 pm
by Scarikas
123. (I did the math)

Slide down the aisles on your belly holding action figures.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 6:02 pm
by Alpha Ridley
124. Bring in a Rhinoceros.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Tue May 29, 2012 7:04 pm
by Grep42
125. Get 20 of your friends and march military style through the store while singing the Chuck Norris cadence.

Re: One million ways to get kicked out of a shop!

Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 9:21 am
by Foxesrule
126. Get my super annoying pet cat called smudge to run about. Make sure she goes into the food isles and sheds her fur like normal. After twenty minutes, the food isles shall be no more. And everything will be black and/or whitwe.