Skipping across the surface of time. (a fox story)

[sparkwolf111]

I am born into the world along with my rust orange siblings. three brothers and three sisters. my father brown leaf looks at my mother and nuzzles her softley, a twinkle of pride in his eye that turns into a tear of joy. my father and mother would take turns going outside to get food as me and my brothers tuscle around pawing eachs face with our black paws. i can never get milk fast enough,so, despite being near full i decide to follow my mother on her trips. she always goes to a spot covered in mushrooms at the south east edge of the forest. i suckle once and try for twice but she heads to the den. for a moment i cant find our den, my mother had seemed to vanish into the thin air of the afternoon. but soon i see my father amerge and realize our den is hidden by trees. i return, but a few moments later everything freezes. i see minutes pass by in seconds, than hours pass by ineven less time. time was speeding up i realized, but i wasent getting older. my siblings and parents didnt seem to notice me. they all grew older. i saw my brothers and sisters leave, and my parents have more litters of kits, years go by in minutes as i watch them. time slows down and i realize my parents and siblings have probably all died of old age by now. i step outside into the glow of spring, as time finally returns to a normal pace. i take one last look in my den, but im quickly scratched in the face by a new mother, much like my old one. i sigh and look around, desperate to find company. i spot a female fox kit named Angelsong,looking for someone, odly enough, named angel. i spotted her by the tall tree next to the waterfull talking to another kit whos name was "ANGELSTAR~~~". I greeted them and, though we didnt say it we agreed tolive together as a pack, along with our companion Meadow, a female hawk. they were talking about there cave in the desert and when we reached it there was a coyote next to it. angelsong was almost hit but we managed to get inside. both of them had fully matured by the time we got there, but i remained a kit. they began stalking up on food as i lay there regurgitating and swallowing it again for the water. they returned with rabbits, freshly matured and killed them in one shot. Meadow died, but she returned as a kingsnake. it was around that time i matured and began building the nest by gathering straw just outside the den. i thought i saw meadow go into a hole next to the cave, and suddenly i knew why we kept seeing coyotes next to our den, there was a nest of the just nextdoor. i waited for angel and angel to return from hunting, but only angelsong returned. i asked if angelstar had been killed, but she just shook her head"she was standing right beside me, and than poof, she was gone." all of a sudden i knew what happened to her, she had skipped through time as well. i sighed and told angelsong about the coyotes den. we decided to move and angelsong suggested what we al secretly knew inside, to become a pack. meadow was saying she would be a fox to and she was asking what gender the pack needed but i left before i could hear. i came back to find two small caurcauses, one belonging to Meadow, the other to a rabbit she was holding. minutes later Meadow returned in the body of a male fox kit. we decided the move would be after we ate as much food stored in the den as possible. so we began to joke, play and me and Meadow challenged each other. we left only a couple scraps and moved to the east side of the lake aways from the heat of the dessert. Angelsong suggested we dig lots of dens, to i swam across the river to a large boulder and began digging into it until i had a den i daydreamed for a while and realized Angelsong and Meadow had dug 3 dens beside or inside the river. at that moment time started speedinbg up again. why now? why again? i thought. fall came and went, as so did winter, one hole has filled in. spring comes and another hole fills in,by the time time slows down its been a year and a haif. Meadow and Angelsong are gone, along with the dens we built. i sigh and move up stream. i see a wolf outside the dear den near the island by the waterfall. i go inside to see starwolf hibernating, a small male bear. i try talking to star but he dosent respond so i leave and move to the den next store and begin telling you this story, i will tell you more later, but for now time has caught up with the story.

[Summerbreeze]

This is very good, there are alot of very talented writers on WEO, you are defenitly one of them!

[Alias]

I agree with Summerbreeze.
But you need to have good grammar if you want to write a proper story. Use punctuation and paragraphs. Yes, maybe this is just a random story that you came up with and you probably won't look back on it too much, but practicing your writings skills is very important. Grammar, spelling etc plays a big part in all our lives.

[Foxesrule]

I agree with Alias and Summerbreeze, but I think more emotion would be quite good aswell.

[Saebre]

I agree with Summer, and Alias. Very well written.

[sparkwolf111]

xD thx guys, i was kinda rushing to keep up with this as it was happening. its basicly a story that goes around the idea of what happens to your animal when you log off.
to be honest i thought i would get comments like "um, im not following. this dosent make any sence. =.= would it kill you to indent."

[Slueth]

That story makes me sad. You were an innocent little fox kit, and
then all of a sudden your family, your parents your siblings,
all of a sudden grew and died as you watched, frozen in time.
When you were unfrozen, you went to the only place you knew;
your den. And you were shooed out by another fox, one you didn't know.
You're a small fox kit all alone in the big bad world :C

That could mentally scar someone, if it happened in real life.

Also the no-paragraphs annoyed me but the story was really good so I didn't care.

[KibaWolf]

I agree,slueth.I agree.;-; poor thing.