My Life as a Condor, Act 1

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Avis
Bluebird Chick
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:11 pm
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow....

My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Avis »

I slowly squirmed in my egg, using my egg tooth I made a crack in the egg, slowly but surely, the crack I made became bigger and bigger, until finally, my egg was only a pile of a few shells around me, my eyes widened with interest, I was in what seemed a large cave, I was happy that it was bigger than it was in my egg, and more colorful, it was a reddish-brown color, but I was soon to be bored as all I could do was pace back and forth, I had a sister, who was named Chani, and a brother, I can't quite remember his name but, the name Tristan rings a bell, my mother, Softwind, was 4th ranking female, and my father, Laonhara was a 3rd ranking male, when I spawned in there were a few bits of meat and I managed to snatch one, but me and my siblings were competitive.

Chani was the more competitive one, I was always challenging her, and I almost always won, she would challenge me too, but I still won. When I used to sit near the entrance, where light filtered in to our cave, and I would gaze at the blue sky, longing to spread my wings and glide gracefully, visible only to my siblings and parents as a silhouette, Chani and I were the only ones to sit near there, Tristan would sit at the back, In the shadows, he would never speak, he would stay quiet when me and Chani sparred.

There wasn't much of my childhood I could recall, my parents took turns in feeding us, mostly meat, rarely regurgitation, we were also regularly cleaned, my parents were good parents, but not the best, there were crucial things they forgot, like minerals and stones, which is why me and my siblings spent quite a bit of our childhood, sitting there, trying not to let the impulses in our brains and the cravings distract us, but there was one thing I could recall, the day I decided to challenge my own mother, by that time, my combat skills bar was near enough a quarter full, and I challenged my mother, she had her skills bar half full, but I won the rank of 4th female.

By that time we had grown beautiful down feathers, raven black, and very soft, we had grown our wing feathers too, with the distinctive white stripe, and our tail feathers, Tristan spread his wings and instantly took flight, he glided off into the distance, my parents squawked a cry of congratulations, and Chani soon followed, and I wasn't far behind her, She spread her wings, plummeted a bit, but then the air thermals carried her off, and as for me, I felt like I was born for this, I spread my wings and soared instantly, I became that silhouette I always wanted to be.

The first thing I went for was a dead carcass, I filled my stomach, and then flew to the river and drank my fill, I looked for minerals to lick and stones to eat, It was summer,and the only thing I focused now on is becoming a formidable predator, I looked for each and every female and challenged all of them, I challenged Ursa, the rank one female, and won, by now my combat skills bar was three quarters full, and even before then I managed to kill my fist prey, a gecko.

Then I wanted to find a home, I looked at all the nesting sites in the cliffs, the one that got my attention was the furthest north, away from the other cluster of nests, the reason why I liked this one so much, is that it was near water, which was the lake in the mountains, there was always minerals and gravel there, and the other good thing is prey can't escape from there. I loved this cave and would spend my nights sleeping here. I then started practicing hunting more, I would take a mouse, bring it to the cave and kill there before it escapes, or at the entrance, I do have to admit, I felt a bit bad killing when there was many a carcass, but it was for the sake of my future chicks.

Near the end of summer I began to over heat, so I stopped hunting for a bit, to try and get my fat reserves up for spring, I would spend my time exploring the forest and mountains as I always wanted as a chick, i would see Chani hanging near the nesting sites, a few times but by fall, I never saw her again, at fall I did all the usual things a condor would do, eat, drink, sleep, do my business, I was bored out of my bird brain, and my combat skills bar was completely full, I was a formidable predator, and rank one female, as far as dominant goes, nearing the middle of fall, I saw a beautiful male condor named Basil, he was ENORMOUS, he must have had a wingspan of at least 8 feet, his age was half a circle, and he was rank one male, just what I wanted, I kept a close eye on him, for winter, for I would mate with him when it comes to mating season.

When winter started, I started to prepare my cave, I filled it with food, meat, and regurgitation, minerals and stones, I waited patiently for the end of winter, and when it was time, I mated with Basil, and he followed me into the cave, paralyzed until I laid the eggs, (as all NPCs do, really.) I noticed my stomach and water reserves were harshly depleted, I went out, ate, drank, and made sure I licked minerals and ate gravel, and then I went back to my cave.

When my eggs were laid, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful they were, two eggs nestled by each other, a near perfect round shape and a creamy white color, I then nestled on them myself, and waited patiently until they hatched.

I was filled with joy when they hatched, they were so beautiful and I loved everything about them, their eyes were a liquid black, like deep midnight, they had short stubby limbs, and were covered in a soft grey down, they had small but sharp beaks, and each had an unmistakable personality, I had named the female Ava, and the male Avion, awkward names I know, but I wanted their names to be close to mine, so they can lead my legacy on.

After they were born they immediately ate the meat scraps and regurgitation, and ate the stone, and licked the minerals, I went off to eat more to regurgitate for them, and fetch another stone, to be honest I fed them more regurgitation than meat, I always thought I could feed them a larger quantity than one piece of meat at a time.

Basil was a good parent too, he fed them and cleaned them as much as I did, this isn't to say parenthood was easy, because in the middle of spring, there was no gravel to be found, and I would spend hours looking only to return home without it, Basil would clean them and I would take his place and he go and fetch a scrap of meat, but there was one.... incident, in parenthood, I can never, ever forget.

It was nearing the end of spring, there was only a quarter to go, my children had grown their thicker down feathers, and most of their distinctive, white-striped tail feathers, their wing feathers had also begun to grow, one day I left the cave in order to go and catch a rabbit, I stopped feeding them regurgitation at this stage, as they had almost grown, my hit points had increased from 7.5 to 11.5, and I found it easier catching prey, I went north of the river and sneaked up on an unsuspecting rabbit, I swooped and the rabbit was in my talons, I flew home and went into the cave, I went into the back of the cave, but only Avion was there, a blind panic had engulfed me, I had quickly swooped out my cave, 'Ava!' I called, my cry echoed and rolled under the rocky hills, Basil also came out, and was looking for the intruder, there was a condor there named Summerbreeze, i didn't have to examine her to know MY chick was in her talons, 'Mommy!' Ava cried, I was horrified, angry, scared, and didn't know what to do, I got ready to hit the condor, (we were in world 2.) but then she spoke,
'I'm sorry Avis' she spoke.'I took your baby.'
'Please, give me my baby back, why did you take her?'
She was silent for a bit, and I kept begging.
'Your mate keeps attacking me'
'He is an NPC, avoid him.'
'I'm sorry, i didn't know you live here.'
I dropped the rabbit and killed it, I followed this intruder, for her explanation wasn't worthy, I examined her stats, she only had a sliver of health, she dropped Ava next to her brother and suddenly died, I felt so bitter inside, I watched my children eat their fill from this corpse, I felt like such a horrible mother, but I was reassured by Basil, Summerbreeze couldn't understand that he was only trying to protect them, which is why he attacked her, I got really protective after that, and barley left the cave, and only made one trip outside to get meat, I tried to put the whole horrid business behind me as it was nearing the end of spring.

My chicks were near adults, they had they same liquid, black eyes, and had grown black down feathers, they had a white stripe across their gracful wings and large tail feathers, then Summerbreeze came back in.
I stood protectively in front of my children, waiting for her explanation as to why she came back.
'why did you kill me?' she uttered.
'it wasn't me.' I said firmly, because that was the truth.
'It was my mate, he was protecting the chicks'.
'oh' she said, and left.

After that it was time for them to leave, Avion spread his wings and plummeted a little, but was carried off by the air thermals, he glided away graceful, and was only a figure faraway in the distance, he uttered a cry of fair well, and I one of congratulations and fair well, Ava was next, she swooped straight away and was carried by the wind, she reminded me of my first flight, I congratulated her and said fair well, and she bode fair well to me, I exited the cave and flew alongside them, I noticed Basil hadn't left, I re-entered the cave, he seemed paralyzed for a minute or two, like he was emotionally tied, but then he exited, so did I, I said fair well to Basil, and hoped to see him again.
By this time my age clock, had reached a quarter, but this wasn't the end, I had left my mark on this world, but there were more chicks to come.

The end.

Thanks for reading, It wasn't as long as I wanted it to be, but it was the best I could do, I welcome all feedback, and critique!
I hope you enjoyed it,

Avis
Last edited by Avis on Sat Apr 07, 2012 10:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears.
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NatureHeart
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Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by NatureHeart »

I like it! But in the paragraphs, you can't have just one HUGE sentence.
Cheer up!
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Ansa
Bluebird Chick
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Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:40 am
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Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Ansa »

Yeah, I agree with the above poster. This one was a pain to read.
Avis
Bluebird Chick
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:11 pm
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow....

Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Avis »

I would like to know what you mean.
Can you give me and example of this? But thank you anyway.

I have written stories but never published one (or posted, rather.) in a forum, but I will improve in time :).
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears.
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Ansa
Bluebird Chick
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Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:40 am
Location: Finland

Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Ansa »

You typed the whole text in a few huuge sentences, which is really annoying if you ask me, and a lot of other people don't approve of it either, plus it's incorrect in every way imaginable, so please don't do it, because it's really painful to read.
Summerbreeze
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Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Summerbreeze »

I cant belive you wrote about me! I am not mad though. Would you like to join my clan?
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Avis
Bluebird Chick
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:11 pm
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow....

Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Avis »

I did encounter you, and as for the clan, I will read your post and think about it.
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears.
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NatureHeart
Cardinal Chick
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Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2011 3:10 pm
Location: Probably in my room. ;3

Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by NatureHeart »

I mean like this:

You:
When my eggs were laid, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful they were, two eggs nestled by each other, a near perfect round shape and a creamy white color, I then nestled on them myself, and waited patiently until they hatched.

Better:
When my eggs were laid, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful they were! Two eggs nestled by each other, a near perfect round shape and a creamy white color. I then nestled on them myself, and waited patiently until they hatched.
Cheer up!
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Be silly!
Image
♥ And fly! ♥
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Avis
Bluebird Chick
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2012 4:11 pm
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow....

Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Avis »

Thanks. The next time I write a story, I will pay attention to this.
Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come.

A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.

The wind of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears.
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Foxesrule
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Re: My Life as a Condor, Act 1

Post by Foxesrule »

This is pretty good, but it sounds too unrealistic, because in real life a condor wouldn't be able to say they had half their combat bar full or whatever.
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