Born Without Many Things

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Hope
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Born Without Many Things

Post by Hope »

(So, I was really bored. I was a bluebird waiting for Fall. So I thought of making a story as I waited.)

Being born deaf and blind isn't the least of my worries, but being born with no parents! Now that's tough. I was just so unfortunate to be born without that. My parents, my parents left me when I was only a few days old. Being a young fox without their mother and father was really hard. I wasn't weaned, I was starving, I was alone. All I remember of my den is the bodies of my sister and brother. One day, I was taking a nap under the left over straw and fur. Then I heard a strange voice. I strange tree branch stuck it's five branches in the hole! It wasn't a tree..... it was a No-Fur!


(Finish it later guys!)
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Scarikas
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Re: Born Without Many Things

Post by Scarikas »

Good so far, but try to make it a bit more detailed.
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hoopyscoop
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Re: Born Without Many Things

Post by hoopyscoop »

I like it! Nice job, I agree with Scarikas, it does need some detail but other than that, it's awesome!
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Alias
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Re: Born Without Many Things

Post by Alias »

I like the title, but you may need to work on the description. Foxes have keen senses, so try to include that. For example, you could feel the dust and dirt crawling in your fur. Try experimenting with senses and elements.
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